


Free Fallin'

by hyunhunnie



Category: NU'EST, Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Onghwang, Religious Themes, ambiguous use of italics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:26:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22640197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunhunnie/pseuds/hyunhunnie
Summary: Sometimes Seongwu wishes he could read minds just to give Minhyun everything he ever wanted without having to ask for it.
Relationships: Hwang Minhyun/Ong Seongwu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Free Fallin'

**Author's Note:**

> The lyrics in the begining are from Tom Petty's "Free Fallin'". 
> 
> Please excuse the incoherency. This is very much a stream-of-consciousness and Seongwu is quite a complex and confusing character at times.

She's a good girl, loves her Mama  
Loves Jesus and America too 

She's a good girl, crazy about elvis  
Loves horses and her boyfriend too

I wanna write her name in the sky  
I'm gonna free fall out into nothin'  
Gonna leave this world for a while 

Saying grace before dinner, sunday school, evening lessons to study the bible and of course regular attendance at church, all these things were familiar to Seongwu. Things he grew up with. Being the son of a priest, Seongwu has always been the poster boy of a filial christian son. Was taught their beliefs from the moment he was born. He lived by _His_ words. 

He never questioned them. Until he met _Minhyun_. 

When he claimed the seat, it felt like he ascended to heaven, only to come crashing back down to earth, humbled by the reality of his now constraint live. 

Adoration and attention - more than he ever asked for - pushing himself beyond what he once thought was humanly possible - fueled by the incredible synergy he gained from ten other boys with the same goal in mind – the struggle between just giving in to physical demands and sleep for 5 minutes, but also trying to take in every precious moment, knowing they are limited and wanting to make it count and live life to the fullest. 

And living his life in denial, but not being able to let go. 

Letting this, whatever this was, pull them closer. And with the vague, undefined, unspoken agreement of _this_ only lasting as long as the group did (knowing it was temporary) did they allow themselves to be together. To be themselves. 

They would have to part ways afterwards and even though it was already almost certain that they would meet again, they wouldn't, couldn't, didn't live together anymore. Didn't have excuses to go out together, practice together, eat together, watch movies together or share their hotel room (and bed) with each other anymore. This, they, were temporary too and Seongwu, with the great ability to lie to himself better than to the people around him, could almost believe, too. 

He took the excuse of this being a “phase” in the truest meaning of the word and delusioned himself into thinking that he could move on once it was over and go back to pretending he never wasn't the good devout boy and son everyone wanted him to be. Maybe, if enough time passed and he prayed hard enough, it could turn into reality and he no longer had to be afraid of who he really was.

"Can you turn off the light, please?"

It was a shy question that Minhyun asked, quietly. Looking at Seongwu with slight reservation, like he was afraid his request would be denied. But 

even despite desperately wanting to see Minhyun naked in the full light, how could he even think of denying Minhyun when he asked him so sweetly. It's not like there was anything Seongwu wouldn't give him to begin with. Like he wouldn't try and take down the sun and the moon, if only because Minhyun asked him to. 

Sometimes Seongwu wishes he could read minds just to give Minhyun everything he ever wanted without having to ask for it. 

Looking at him now, Seongwu knows that Minhyun is still uncertain. Knows that Minhyun thinks, Seongwu is expecting them to take it further tonight (well, he had hopes), but seeing Minhyun sitting on ~~their~~ his bed, hugging his legs to his chest and almost unable to meet his eyes, Seongwu simply turns off the lights without any further comment and tugs Minhyun down under the covers, spooning him and says “Good night.”

Minhyun is still stiff as a board and looks so adorably confused, Seongwu can't help but to blow a raspberry into his neck to which Minhyun petulantly, playfully replies “Ack Seongwu~ no. Not there, that tickles.” and tries to shove him away. But he relaxes in Seongwu's hold once he realizes that nothing else would happen tonight and closes his eyes. He has been so tired lately, all of them are to be honest, but he is glad that they still get to spend time together and that Seongwu understands, _respects_ , his inhibitions. 

Feeling Seongwu's warm hand stroking his arm and stomach, Minhyun mumbles “Thank you, Seongwu” and turns around quickly to press a kiss to Seongwus lips (“I don't know what you're talking abou-”) before flopping back and quickly drifting off into a deep sleep. 

Seongwu watches Minhyun sleep. His body is illuminated by the moonlight and not for the first time Seongwu laments the fact that words are not sufficient enough to describe what he sees when he looks at Minhyun. 

Ethereal, otherworldly, godli... _blasphemous_.

Minhyun is beautiful. In Seongwu's humble opinion this is a universal fact. With his eyes closed and his hands balled up in front of his face like a child, he looks even more innocent than he is. Minhyun will always remain pure to him, no matter how much he has stained and corrupted him and Seongwu sometimes still can't believe that he is allowed to hold someone so precious and dear.

As so very often lately, he prays to God again. He is torn between wanting to curse 

_What he does, what they do, is really wrong when it feels so right. Fuck them all, this is worth going to hell for_

And asking for forgiveness.

He can't find it in him to despise the church and the people, because...he, too, still believes and that makes him despise himself just that bit more. 

He doesn't pray for their approval, wouldn't want to ask for something uselessly, knowing it will never be given. And with this being his last thought, he too, slowly falls asleep. 

They hold hands the first time they make love and it feels so much more intimate than everything else. Seongwu can feel Minhyun gripping his fingers tightly, his legs wounding close around his waist and his moans coming out high pitched. Seongwu knows Minhyun is still holding back, nervous with the way his eyelids flutter and and his hand clenching and unclenching. 

“Shhh I got you. I got you, Minhyunnie” Seongwu whispers and affectionally strokes Minhyuns wet bangs away from his forehead. He wants to reassure him, show him how much this means to him too, and to pleasure him beyond imagination. He wants Minhyun to think of him only whenever he thinks of kissing, caressing and touching someone from now on and forever. Wants him to be unable to seek out anyone but Seongwu. Wants him to crave for his touch and his touch alone. 

Minhyun turns his head and for the first time since they started doing this, he is the one to seek out Seongwu's gaze. That moment, Seongwu swears, is what dying must feel like. More painful than his heart skipping a beat or pounding so hard that it feels like breaking out of his ribcage, Seongwu realizes in this exact moment that the heart beating inside his chest is no longer his. It's Minhyun's. Irrevocably, irreversibly. 

He slowly leans down and they kiss again, exploring each others mouth with their tongues and Seongwu can tell that Minhyun is beginning to relax, starts forgetting the world around them and the society that condemns this very act they are engaging in. Minhyun is moving slowly, sensually. His hips rising to meet Seongwus thrusts. He lets out deep sigh, his back arching, baring his neck like an offering, a present for only Seongwu to take – _he wants_ \- to kiss him, lick him and mark him, claim him. 

Their rhythm turns more erractic, Minhyun wordlessly begging with moans and whimpers for more, one of his hands leaving Seongwu's hold, guiding Seongwu's face to his throat, to the point where his neck meets his shoulder, and Seongwu, forever powerless in the face of Minhyuns desires, accepts this sweet offer, how could he not, and lets his lips and teeth descend over Minhyun's white skin. Minhyun's other hand also breaks out of his grip and he winds his arms around Seongwus back, holding him impossibly tight and even without being caged in his limbs, Seongwu knows he would forever be his prisoner. 

(Trapped by pale skin and alluring eyes, promises never spoken and a scent that permeats his skin, pierces deeper than a knife ever could.)

“Seongwu...please...oh i<>God” it spills from Minhyuns mouth and Seongwu realizes he must be close. With Minhyun's sweet voice in his head and his body all around him, Seongwu begins to move faster, driven by the single urge to bring Minhyun immeasurable pleasure. He frames Minhyun's face with his hands, seeks out his mouth once more and drives in deeper. 

Minhyun breaks away from their kiss and Seongwu thrusts harder until Minhyun is all but an incoherent mess and he can no longer tell if the sounds he makes are sacrilegeous nor does he care. Not with Minhyun so hot all around him, taking him so good, like he was made for him alone and there was no turning back. 

Minhyun's cock is rubbing against his stomach and before Seongwu can take a hold of it, Minhyun lets out another “Oh, ah...Seongwu” and spills all over their bodies. 

When Seongwu comes, he knows it wasn't because of the incredible tight hold of Minhyuns walls around his cock, but Minhyun's utterly beautiful, trusting face as he came and Seongwu knows

They are real.

**Author's Note:**

> There is an epilogue which is very much NOT in line with what is written here and I am hesitating to post it. But sucker me just can't live without giving OngHwang a happy end, even if it just consists of after-care and post-coital bed talk. I am might post it as a separate extra drabble.


End file.
